


Always

by alabasterclouds



Series: Just One Of Eleanor's Little Things [5]
Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Age Play, Bottlefeeding, Carrying, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Diapers, F/F, Fever, Fluff, Non-Sexual Age Play, Sickfic, Tahani's Little Lamb, Thumb-sucking, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 14:14:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17427467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alabasterclouds/pseuds/alabasterclouds
Summary: Tahani thought it'd be a relaxing weekend with her girlfriend, but when they wake up on Saturday, Eleanor's not feeling well. A fluffy little fic about learning to trust each other.Warning: This is an ageplay fic. Please read the tags. Thanks!





	Always

Tahani loved weekends.

Oh, she knew everyone loved weekends - but before, weekends had been full of a whirlwind of events for Tahani. Event after event, party after party . . . it all got so exhausting, and then it was time to get back to charity work and volunteer opportunities on Monday morning. Now, weekends were relaxing, in part because Eleanor insisted on weekends being sacred. She preferred to go out on Friday nights and ignore the rest of the world until Monday.

And that suited Tahani just fine.

Waking up beside Eleanor, thought Tahani, was one of the best feelings in the world. Eleanor was so soft and cuddly, dressed in snuggly pajamas and securely diapered. She usually slept in a fetal position, curled into Tahani's right side, her hands sweetly clasped under her chin so that her thumb was easily accessible. Tahani had gotten used to Eleanor's thumb-sucking in the middle of the night; the liquid sounds of Eleanor's mouth on her thumb was actually soothing. And no matter what kind of mood Eleanor was in after she left the bed each morning, she always woke with a slightly surprised expression, and then a beautiful little smile, as if she couldn't believe that this was her life, too. It made Tahani feel delightful all over. It was so easy to take care of Eleanor and make her feel safe and warm. And being able to do that, Tahani considered, made _her_ feel safe and warm, too.

This Saturday morning, Eleanor wasn't awake yet. Tahani looked down at her blonde girlfriend curled up beside her, her thumb loosely plugged into her mouth, and listened to her soft breathing for awhile. It was still rather early for Eleanor - they'd been out the night before until after midnight, having a drink with Simone, and Eleanor had been able to behave herself this time. Tahani had noticed that Eleanor was less and less inclined to get falling-down drunk now that she lived with Tahani, and privately, Tahani was relieved. She knew the rest of her friends were, too. No more cleaning messy little Eleanor up in disgusting bathrooms and in the back of cabs. Eleanor never mentioned it, but she did tend to stop at around two or three drinks now. It was really nice to go out with her these days, thought Tahani.

Eleanor stirred, then, as Tahani stretched her cramped legs out a little bit, and her blue eyes opened slightly. She woke with her customary slightly surprised expression, and then smiled at Tahani. "Hi," she murmured around her thumb, then stretched out her body, too. Her diaper made a soft sound as she moved, and Tahani, as she usually did, reached down to pat Eleanor's bottom. Eleanor always flushed a little and wrinkled her nose, and this morning was no different. She simply bowed her head into Tahani's bare shoulder, and Tahani kissed her sweet-smelling hair.

"Good morning, lamb," she murmured back. "How did you sleep, hmm?" Tahani patted Eleanor's bottom. "Someone's soaked this morning. Must have been all the extra liquid last night."

Eleanor stretched again, making a slight squeaking sound which made Tahani's heart melt, and then let her breath out in a long sigh. "Maybe. I'm wet every morning." She rolled over into Tahani's arms, all soft sleepy warmth, and closed her eyes again. "Shh. It's too early."

"It's nine o'clock, you silly girl," said Tahani, and kissed Eleanor's cheek. "I'm getting up for breakfast; I've been simply starving for ages. If you'd like to sleep longer, you absolutely can, darling, but we're going to have to change your nappy first. It really is saturated. I'm not going to let you stay in that any longer."

Eleanor rubbed her eyes and yawned, and then opened her eyes completely, which did look very sleepy still, thought Tahani. "If you're going to do that, then I'll just get up," she said. Her face clouded a bit. "I can't sleep after all that." Her cheeks were flushed, Tahani noted. Eleanor still found talking about her diapers and wetting very embarrassing, and never alluded directly to them unless she was feeling very little. 

Tahani kissed Eleanor's warm cheek. "Suit yourself, love. But I won't have you sleeping wet like that. It's simply ghastly for your skin." She got up in one graceful movement, and stretched the kinks out of her back blissfully. Usually, she did an hour of yoga before breakfast, but Tahani wanted to make a special hot breakfast for Eleanor this morning, and she decided to push yoga to later. They weren't planning anything today - maybe a few movies, probably a video game tournament with Jason, who had been begging Eleanor to play his latest game with him since Wednesday. She had plenty of time to move her schedule around.

Eleanor pouted at the loss of Tahani's warmth. "Come back. I wasn't done cuddling."

"Darling, I need to start breakfast." Tahani moved the blankets away from Eleanor and pushed her lips into a mock pout as Eleanor immediately began to shiver, her own pout growing even bigger. She was wearing a pair of pink pajamas, and her diaper showed adorably above the waistband of the cotton pants. Eleanor frowned at Tahani.

"Mean."

"Noooo, I couldn't be mean to my little lamb," Tahani teased, and then dropped a kiss on Eleanor's exposed tummy, right above her belly button. Eleanor's face split into a surprised smile, and she giggled, pulling Tahani down on top of her and kissing her gently. Eleanor's kisses were so soft and tentative, almost as if she didn't know if Tahani would like to be kissed at all. But Tahani loved how gentle her little lamb was, from the way Eleanor's tiny hands stroked her hair, to her need to be in contact with Tahani almost all the time. Tahani kissed Eleanor back and stroked her tumbled blonde hair.

"Now. Are you getting up or not?"

"I'll get up," grumbled Eleanor, starting to push her pajama pants down as Tahani got up from the bed and pulled out the wipes from Eleanor's dresser drawer. She also pulled out a clean pull-up, which caused an eyeroll from Eleanor. Eleanor wore pull-ups all the time and full diapers at night, but she still acted as if it was a huge imposition for her to wear either one. Tahani knew better, though - Eleanor was much calmer and less on edge since she'd started wearing pull-ups full-time. If she had a little accident during the day, her panties weren't cold and wet, and Eleanor had admitted that it felt a lot safer to her to be warm and dry all of the time. She'd left this part unvoiced, but Tahani knew that it meant a lot to her to know that someone was there to care for her, too. 

Tahani wiped Eleanor down and got rid of the heavy nighttime diaper, helping Eleanor into her thinner pull-ups. They were almost imperceptible under Eleanor's pants, but Eleanor checked her appearance in the full-length closet mirror, regardless. She was always worried someone could tell she was wearing them, but Tahani couldn't tell at all - Eleanor was a little rounder at the bottom, but she had a round bottom anyway, thought Tahani. She gave that bottom a squeeze as she walked by to put on her dressing gown, and Eleanor retaliated by giving Tahani's own bottom a playful smack, sticking her tongue out at her girlfriend.

Later, at breakfast, Tahani noticed that Eleanor still looked fairly sleepy, and made a mental note to get her girlfriend to take a nap that day. Eleanor tended to fight naps; she seemed to be convinced she was going to miss out on something, but Tahani knew that if Eleanor was overtired, she'd start acting like a brat, and they'd started the day off so nicely. 

Eleanor played listlessly with her food. She wasn't always hungry in the mornings, but this seemed odd after a night out. Eleanor usually loved to carb-load in the morning. "Helps the hangover symptoms," she'd say. But today she picked at her eggs and nibbled at her bacon, choosing instead to focus on her coffee. Tahani looked at her in concern.

"Everything all right with breakfast, Eleanor?"

"It's good," Eleanor replied, and put a forkful of eggs into her mouth, as if proving a point. "Don't get fussy, Tahani. I'm just tired."

"Well, will we take it fairly easy today, then?" Tahani finished her own breakfast of eggs, fruit salad, and gluten-free toast and then carried her plate into the kitchen. "I'm not really in the mood to do much either, to be very honest." 

"We could watch a movie," replied Eleanor tentatively, sounding as if she wasn't sure herself if that's what she wanted to do. She yawned again and pushed her breakfast around her plate. "I wanted to watch Coco today."

Tahani smiled; she loved that film, but she was a bit surprised Eleanor wanted to watch it. She didn't tend to like movies that focused overly on families and the love they had for each other, understandably. "Well, love, we can certainly do that. Did you want to make one of your nests on the couch?"

Eleanor brightened up a bit and nodded. Her stuffed animal collection was growing by leaps and bounds, and Tahani took great pleasure in adding to it every time she saw an adorable plush animal that seemed like it could belong in Eleanor's menagerie. The last addition had been a tiger, and Eleanor had named him Tony, after the Frosted Flakes character. Combined with a lot of soft pillows and blankets, Eleanor loved to transform the L-shaped sectional couch in the living room into her own personal burrow. Sometimes Tahani thought Eleanor was like a little mouse. She just loved to be cozy, quiet, and warm - something that was not apparent from the way she met the world head-on.

"Are you going to finish up then, love?" Tahani looked down at Eleanor's almost full plate, feeling a slight stab of concern. Usually Eleanor would eventually settle down and eat. Today, though, she seemed completely uninterested in food, and sure enough, Eleanor rose and went into the kitchen with her plate, pulling out the plastic wrap and wrapping it securely before putting it into the fridge.

"I'll eat it later," she explained, slightly defensively, as she ducked under Tahani's concerned gaze on her way to the spare room, which Tahani had transformed into a bit of a playroom for Eleanor. Tahani sighed, but bit her tongue. Eleanor hated it when she fussed too much, something she was very guilty of doing. But Eleanor just seemed so, well, _off_ today.

It took her three trips, but Eleanor came out of her playroom with an armload of stuffed animals, including her little lamb, Harold (Eleanor had asked Tahani to name this particular favourite plush animal, and all Tahani could think of was the little lamb at the farm next to her private school), a bunch of fuzzy pillows, and her satin-edged baby blanket, which Tahani had gotten her one late night on Etsy after Eleanor had sobbed that she'd had a baby blanket, but her mother had thrown it out almost immediately upon Eleanor going to kindergarten. Tahani had had it monogrammed, and when Eleanor was home, it was never far from her grasp.

Eleanor settled on the couch and patted the seat beside her. "Come on, Tahani, I don't want to wait all day," she groused, and Tahani rolled her eyes as she came to sit beside Eleanor, leaning against the fuzzy white pillow that she'd picked up from IKEA. Most of Eleanor's things were from there. It really was a wonderful store, Tahani thought to herself as she took Eleanor in her arms and started the movie.

While nearly everyone cried through Coco, or so Chidi had told her when he'd noticed Tahani sniffling surreptitiously the first time they'd all seen it in theatres, Eleanor generally tended to watch movies a bit impassively. Today was no different, but Tahani noticed halfway through that Eleanor felt almost uncomfortably warm and heavy in her arms. She looked down at the smaller woman, her back against Tahani's chest, and noticed that Eleanor's eyes were closed and she was breathing evenly. 

Tahani's heart twisted. Maybe she was just really exhausted, she thought. But as soon as Tahani went to kiss her forehead, Eleanor's eyes opened, and she looked a bit annoyed. "What are you doing?" she snapped. "I'm fine, Tahani. I was just resting my eyes."

A likely story, Tahani thought, but she kissed Eleanor's forehead anyway and was a little surprised to find that it was quite warm. She smoothed Eleanor's hair off her forehead, double-checking to see if she was right by pressing the back of her hand to Eleanor's skin. "Are you feeling all right, lovey?"

"I'm _fine_ ," Eleanor insisted, pushing Tahani's hand away, now sounding very annoyed. Tahani knew when to back off. She rubbed Eleanor's back instead, and they continued to watch the movie.

Soon enough, though, Eleanor started to squirm uncomfortably in Tahani's arms. Generally at this point, Tahani would pause the movie and check Eleanor's pull-up to make sure she wasn't leaking, which she was prone to do when engaged in another activity that took her full attention. The last thing Tahani wanted was for Eleanor's diaper to give way all over her couch. The pull-ups did a fairly good job of keeping Eleanor's pants from getting wet, but they weren't able to hold up to being used like diapers. Eleanor didn't usually completely wet her pants during the day, anyway, unless she decided she wanted to be in diapers. But she would generally at least try to make it to the toilet even then.

Tahani paused the movie and Eleanor sighed in exasperation. _"Tahani!_ I was watching that."

"And you're squirming like an eel, lamb. I think it's time for a break, don't you?" Tahani ignored Eleanor swatting her hands out of the way and checked Eleanor's pull-up as she usually did, expecting to find it a little damp. But Eleanor swatted her hands away a little more forcefully this time, and Tahani realized that Eleanor was hiding something. She patted Eleanor's bottom instead, and found her pull-up more than just damp. It was warm and heavy, close to leaking.

"Uh-oh, Eleanor. What happened here, darling?"

Eleanor turned into Tahani and hid her hot face against her dressing gown. Tahani dropped a kiss on her hair. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Wet," murmured Eleanor into Tahani's shoulder, and Tahani nodded, rubbing Eleanor's back.

"You certainly are, lovey. Why is your pull-up wet? You usually don't do that," she said, keeping her voice gentle. "Did you have a little accident?"

Eleanor didn't answer her in words. But after a moment, she nodded. "It wasn't an accident," she muttered, then, her voice muffled against Tahani's shoulder. Tahani nodded again, this time a bit knowingly.

"I gathered not. Is it a day for nappies, do you think?" Tahani cuddled Eleanor close. "That's all right if it is, you know. I'd rather you feel comfortable, darling. If you're too little to make it to the toilet today, that's fine with me."

Eleanor sighed and put a thumb into her mouth. "I'm too little," she murmured. Her voice was unsure, though, so Tahani tipped her face up so that she could look into Eleanor's eyes, which were full of tears. Now _that_ was a bit of a surprise. If Eleanor felt little, she generally didn't get upset about it. Nor did she get upset about wetting on purpose as a rule.

"Are you quite sure you're feeling well, Eleanor? It's all right if you're not, sweetheart. Just tell me how we can make it better."

Eleanor laid her head against Tahani's shoulder and sucked her thumb. Then she took her thumb out and got up, tugging on Tahani's hand towards the bedroom, the matter seemingly closed. 

"I'm fine, Tahani."

Tahani shrugged, and got up to change Eleanor into a diaper for the day. If she was fine, she was fine.

But Tahani suspected otherwise.

//~//

Truth be told, Eleanor was decidedly _not_ fine. But she wasn't going to admit that to Tahani.

Her throat had started to hurt the night before, while they were out at the wine bar with Simone. There was a spate of colds going around the university, and Chidi had been sick a few days beforehand. Simone was complaining that she was starting to feel a bit under the weather, and Eleanor had felt a dryness in her throat that wasn't going away, even with several glugs of wine. It had only gotten worse as the night went on, and she'd called it an early night, dragging Tahani home with her. Her girlfriend had been a bit surprised, but she hadn't complained. Generally it was Tahani dragging Eleanor out of bars. Eleanor realized how weird it was, but she'd just wanted to get home to bed.

And now she just felt _wrong_. She was too hot, then too cold, then too hot again. And her throat felt like it was on fire. She'd spent a few moments in the bathroom that morning spraying Chloraseptic spray into her throat, which had numbed it enough for the little bit of breakfast she'd been able to choke down, but she was starting to feel worse again. And she didn't feel up to doing anything. Not even trying to make it to the toilet. She was wearing a diaper, anyway. What was it to anyone if she used it instead of trying to be big all day?

Tahani knew something was up, Eleanor grumbled to herself. She always did. It was extremely rare for Eleanor to wet herself on purpose, though she did it many a time accidentally through the day. But Tahani, now changing her into one of her cozy nighttime diapers and switching her slightly damp pajama pants for new ones, seemed to be expectantly waiting for something. She _knew_ that Eleanor was off, but she wasn't going to mention it if Eleanor wasn't. That was simultaneously annoying and comforting, all at the same time.

As they settled back on the couch for the movie, Eleanor wondered how she could sneak away to bed for awhile without arousing Tahani's suspicion. She just wanted to sleep until she felt better. And she didn't want to tell Tahani - because she didn't want Tahani to look worried, as if Eleanor could break. Eleanor was unbreakable. She'd proved that on many an occasion.

She shifted uncomfortably in Tahani's arms. She was too hot again, and her face felt like it was on fire. Her throat was starting to feel like there was something in the back of it, too. Eleanor let out a few surreptitious coughs, and felt Tahani stiffen against her. But, again, Tahani said nothing. She just rubbed Eleanor's back and grabbed a bottle of water from the side table, unscrewing it for Eleanor before handing it to her.

Eleanor sipped the cool water, feeling a little bit better, and they finished the movie, Tahani wiping tears from her eyes as usual.

"Oh, I just love that one," she sighed happily. She kissed Eleanor's forehead again, and Eleanor braced herself for another barrage of questions about how she felt. But Tahani just patted her back and then pushed her gently forward, getting up and heading toward the kitchen.

"I was thinking of soup for lunch, darling. How does that sound?"

It sounded like a lot of work, Eleanor thought grumpily. "I'm okay," she said instead. "I'm going to go and catch up on reading for Chidi's class."

She heard what sounded like a snicker from Tahani, and frowned. "What? Like I can't do his readings? Look, Tahani, I do every one of his readings for class. Every time."

"You do now," Tahani replied, her voice skeptical. "After he caught you out too many times, darling. We all were there. We all saw."

Eleanor just tossed her head, then regretted it as it started to pound. "Whatever. I'm going to go do that. I'll be in my room."

Tahani nodded, but her voice was concerned. "You don't want any lunch, lamb?"

Eleanor looked down at her feet. She really, really didn't, but she knew how out of character this was for her . . . and how concerned Tahani was going to look. But the thought of eating right now made her feel even worse. So she shook her head, refusing to meet Tahani's eyes. "No, thanks."

Tahani just shrugged. "Okay, Eleanor," she replied, but her voice was doubtful, and Eleanor suddenly just wanted to hide away until she felt better. She was so used to caring for herself that she hated the idea of putting her grumpy, sick little self onto Tahani today . . . or making Tahani look and sound like that. She scuttled away, leaving Tahani in the kitchen, and went into her "room", which was a playroom combined with a study that Tahani had created for her once she moved in.

Eleanor settled on the comfortable couch with her books, but found the cushions too hot against her feverish back. She moved to the floor, which was much cooler, and tried to focus on the textbook. Chidi had set them a long passage from Emmanuel Kant to read, and the words kept swimming back and forth in front of her eyes as she tried to focus. She just felt so _awful_. Eleanor laid her head on the floor and closed her eyes. Maybe if she just rested right here for a moment, she'd feel better and not like her entire body was on fire.

Eleanor didn't know how long she'd been on the floor, but she muzzily thought it must have been awhile, because she had clearly fallen asleep. She woke up when Tahani gently pushed the door open and then gasped.

"Oh, sweetheart. What are you doing on the cold floor? Eleanor, love. You're not feeling well today, are you?" Tahani's voice was gentle, but the note of concern in it made Eleanor's heart twist. She sat up, feeling her wet diaper squish against her bottom, and then started to cry. She had _tried_ to keep it to herself.

"No," she mumbled through her tears. "I feel awful." Her voice rose in a wail. "I feel sick."

"Oh, little lamb. I know you do. You've been burning up all morning." Tahani sat beside Eleanor and held her arms open for her. Eleanor crawled into them, feeling her body's aches and pains flare as she moved. She started to sob, and Tahani kissed her forehead and rubbed her back.

"It's all right, darling. You're just a little bit under the weather. I'm right here. Shh, shh." Tahani smoothed Eleanor's hair away from her forehead with a cool hand, which felt amazing against Eleanor's feverish skin. "I think you've got a fever."

"Throat hurts," Eleanor sobbed, and reached for her bottle of water. Tahani caught her hand and held the water to Eleanor's lips. 

"Well, why don't we get you into bed? Lying here on the floor won't make you feel any better." Tahani helped Eleanor to her feet, then lifted her into her arms. She rarely carried Eleanor, mostly because Eleanor felt strange about it sometimes, but today Eleanor just wrapped her arms around Tahani's neck and rested her head on Tahani's shoulder. She didn't feel like she could even walk. Everything felt like too much.

Tahani brought her into the bedroom, then laid her on the bed and checked her diaper. "And you're wet again, aren't you, lovey?" She leaned down and kissed Eleanor's cheek. "Poor little one."

Eleanor rubbed her eyes as Tahani changed her diaper. The new diaper felt better, but her whole body still hurt. Tahani went to wash her hands and came back with a bottle of cold medicine.

"I think we need to bring that fever down," she said conversationally, handing Eleanor some pills and watching her carefully as she swallowed them, taking a long drink of water. "And then how about a story before a nice long nap, darling?"

Eleanor tossed her head against Tahani irritably. "Tahani, I'm fine. Go away."

"No, I don't think I will," said Tahani, just as stubbornly as Eleanor. "You're sick, love. It's okay to be sick. I'm right here and I don't mind. You're not a burden on me, Eleanor."

Eleanor, to her horror, felt her face crumpling again. Tahani made a noise of concern and hushed Eleanor, rubbing her back. "Shh, love. It's all right. You're all right."

"I'm all yucky," Eleanor whimpered. She didn't know how to tell Tahani that she was so used to being alone and caring for herself that having someone else here was just strange. "I don't want you to get sick," she finished, feeling a bit ridiculous. She _did_ want Tahani to stay, she realized. She didn't want to be brave today.

"Don't go away," she whispered then, and Tahani chuckled a little.

"I'm not sure you know what you want, do you, sweetheart?" Tahani kissed Eleanor's cheek again. "Why don't I get a story for you and a nice bottle? You don't have much in your tummy, lovey. I don't want the pills to give you a bellyache."

A bottle of warm milk sounded nice, Eleanor thought. But she didn't want Tahani to leave. So she followed her into the kitchen, Tahani tsking over Eleanor's bare feet - "You just will not wear anything on those feet, will you, Eleanor? It's no wonder you're not feeling well with your toes bare on this cold floor," - and watched her heat a bottle of milk. Eleanor clutched her baby blanket to her cheek and blearily sat down, feeling the pills starting to take effect. They always made her feel a little bit strange.

Back in bed, Eleanor stroked her blanket against her cheek as Tahani cradled her and gave her the bottle. "There, there now," crooned Tahani. "That's better than that awful floor, isn't it, darling? And to think, if you'd just told me, we could have prevented so much of this. Oh, Eleanor," she sighed.

Eleanor just sighed, too. She didn't have any answers for Tahani. She finished the last drops of her bottle and Tahani patted her back soothingly, trying to release any air bubbles. Eleanor had had a bad tummyache one night after a bottle and Tahani was very conscientious now about making sure Eleanor wasn't gassy in any way.

She rolled over, hoping Tahani would spoon her. The pills were in full effect now and her fever was down. Tahani pressed a kiss to Eleanor's hair and cuddled her close.

"Thank you for being here," whispered Eleanor.

And Tahani just smiled. "Always, my little lamb."


End file.
